If home is where the heart is, I don't really know where I am right now.
I'm finally back in Howard County, MD for two weeks after spending a month and a week in inner-city Washington D.C. I've never realized just how clean and well-put-together my house is. There's no cracks in my bathtub where the water constantly leaks out. My floors are carpeted. My dining table is bigger than 3'x5'. My granola bars do not have mouse droppings on them.
But wow, do I miss it.
Mary Park wasn't kidding when she told me that it would be a crazy culture shock when I got home. I think our counselors even got a taste of it while shopping at Montgomery Mall together and watching our baby Ronada on CNN using Jeremy's 50' widescreen TV. I felt so out of place in Sandy's house, and when I told her how rich her house felt, she just gave me a chuckle. Because compared to my house, of some of the homes in Potomac, it's really pretty typical.
But we are so rich.
And the funny thing is that we don't even think we are.
Camp Heaven, I miss you. And I just pray that Bryana, Brittany, Rikea, Samara, Destiny, Daynise, Jasmine, Queshawn, Sherian, Kiamonie, Damar'e, Sa 'Niya, Beverly, and Sharnae don't think that I've abandoned them or forgotten about them. Katie Kenna, keep your head up and looking towards God for everything. I know that these two weeks are going to be overwhelming, but I know that you can handle it. I'll be praying for you continually.
I don't even know what to do with myself with these two weeks. I feel like I have so much to catch up on, that I have to frantically call up everybody and spend time with everyone before I leave again. I want to hang out with the middle-schoolers at my church that I love and want to reach out to but never had the commitment or the thought to spend time with them. I want to tell the girls that I've grown up with that I love them and that I haven't forgotten about them. I want to see my Atholton friends again and have noodle parties and watch movies and everything in between. I want to make things right with very important individuals in my life.
I don't want to forget everything I've seen in D.C. I don't want to be the same person that I was five weeks ago. I don't want to make the mistake again that life is about spending money and getting more things and getting tanner and thinner. I don't want to fall asleep again when I feel like I've finally woken up to the greatness of God. I don't want to live my life for meaningless things. I don't want to spend all of my time behind a computer screen when I could meet up with the people I care about and get the real thing.
I guess it's time to find out where my heart is.
2 comments:
that sounds very...smart
glad you had fun turtle
your entry made me tear up a bit. i also skimmed down a little to the may 20th entry and it really got to me too.
culture shock is a ridiculous thing. returning from south africa was pretty much the same thing for me. our flight path brought us over sub-saharan africa, where the global food crisis is taking the hardest toll because the countries who desperately need it the most are least able to afford it.
all the while i couldn't help but look down, 5 measly miles below, at what suffering they must be enduring while i am jetsetting above them with all the creature comforts they could only dream of. it doesn't seem fair that i should have all the food, water, and soda served right to me while right below me whole nations are falling apart.
injustice is everywhere, it's not about finding where it is. it's about what you're gonna do once you do.
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